So Simple.

Looking outside into my garden I notice a beautiful butterfly, how strange to see, middle of September, the grass wet and the breeze cold, but the sun so hot.

I watch it as it fly's across to my apple tree, and land on a fallen apple.

It stretches out it's wings lapping up the sun ray's.

Slowly moving around the apple moving it's delicate wings showing off it's radiant colour's of orange,white and black.

Lapping up the sweetness of that fallen apple.

As it sits and I just watch, it closes it's wings and the breeze moves it like a piece of paper,so fragile yet so strong it still sits there.

I believe seeing a single butterfly is bringing a message from someone above and what a fantastic thing to see.

Not wanting to move, I say to myself the ironing can wait,these are the things we need to watch and take in.

And it was in my little world.

Growing so fast

MY BOY.

Have you ever just watched your children,there expressions on their face when they watch the tellie. Something sad or funny. These things will easily be forgotten.

My eldest ran through the kitchen wiggling his bottom and turning round and round to the music which was playing,"mum this song is so cool" those moments when you just have to smile.

Learning how to wink and learning how to whistle. And so very pleased with them selves when they achieved it.

The way that when they are learning to talk they call it a snapodial instead of a crocodile.

These things are just the start, that we easily forget. How much have I forgotten already, I hope nothing.

capture every moment, as they soon drift away and are forgotten.

The Night Before.

He looks at me but says nothing, but his eyes are telling a different story.

I didn't mean to shout,I'm sorry you went to bed early.

Why is it that a person's body language can say more about a person than that person him self.

Is it possible to love someone that much that their pain becomes your pain and there happiness makes your day with one single smile.

Just being able to look at each other and no what their next word is going to be that is spoken.

Making decisions together and trying again when you fail,supporting each other even when sometimes you feel one of you is wrong.

Watching your child's first step and the way you respond when they call your name for the first time.

All of these things are us and I signed up for life,because I'm you and you are me.

Soul mate's forever.

LIKE A CHILD ONCE MORE

As I walk into Nan's room, she's asleep, I sit on the chair by her side , and study her face.

Her now tired and sad skin with every wrinkle could tell a thousand tales, everyone she can remember so clearly, but couldn't tell me what day it was.

She wakes and takes a moment to realize who I'm, she then smiles at me,hello my darling its so lovely to see you.

A nurse comes in and gives her some sandwiches, watching her eat is apparent to me how much like a child she has become once more, how tired she becomes just by eating, holding her cup. She holds her sandwich by the crust's and eats the center,saying to me, that's the crusts that I do leave as I cant chew them , just like a child once more.

I show her a new photo of the boys and her whole face becomes alive every inch of her face is a smile,so proud of her grandson and her grandchildren.

I stand up to get a drink and look in the mirror,as I watch the tears fall down my face, I realize she's not always going to be here, I turn to see she has fallen asleep once more, her breathlessness as she seems to fight for every breath, I leave my kiss on her check and go to leave, I turn and say I love you so much Nan.

She replies I love you to sweetheart.

Eyes

As I look at your photo, I see an older man, now aging and slower.

Even now married with children of my own your eyes stay the same, they still remind me of all the bulling, pain the crying and that horrid feeling in the pit of my stomach, only I as a child only remember so well.

I see my reflection in your aging eyes no one else, why was there no laughing, playing, not feeling scared all the time, was it the pressures of being a parent, or the mundane pressures of everyday life I now no as a parent myself.

As a child I so wish my days could of been different,and now as an adult I remember the those days as if it was yesterday,but reminding myself how sad I feel for you.

that's why I made a promise to myself.

I will never be like you.