The Moon.
As I sit in the door way of my house I watch the light fade and the darkness set in.
The birds stop singing and the bats start there evening of a different world.
As I look up the moon stares back at me, it's pure whiteness lights up the sky, no need for street lights, I take a deep breath in and close my eyes the boys shouting has stopped in my ears and I have total stillness in my head,wanting that feeling to stay with me, I draw weary and close the door.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
He leaves
I feel him leave our bed, he slowly walk's along the hall trying to get his life less body into motion,just another day the same as every morning.
He thinks I'm asleep but I think when you have children you become the most unsettled sleeper in the house, listening through the wall's that your children are breathing,every movement every cry, every cough, I hear it all.
Of course I'm awake I just have my eyes closed wanting to be able to stay in this warm secure place just a minute longer.
I hear him talk quietly to our son saying everyone's still asleep try and be as quite as a mouse.
He gets dressed, I still say nothing, until he bends over and softly kisses me, I open my eyes and smile at him, I love you.
see you later, I love you too.
Every day the same I wouldn't change it for anything.
He thinks I'm asleep but I think when you have children you become the most unsettled sleeper in the house, listening through the wall's that your children are breathing,every movement every cry, every cough, I hear it all.
Of course I'm awake I just have my eyes closed wanting to be able to stay in this warm secure place just a minute longer.
I hear him talk quietly to our son saying everyone's still asleep try and be as quite as a mouse.
He gets dressed, I still say nothing, until he bends over and softly kisses me, I open my eyes and smile at him, I love you.
see you later, I love you too.
Every day the same I wouldn't change it for anything.
Monday, August 21, 2006
The cottage
The Cottage
As I stand and watch the tree through the cottage window I wonder how many times the cottage could tell me how many people have stood in the same spot and done the same thing, I'm lost in my thoughts, only just hearing the radio behind me.
The branches moving in the wind, moves so graceful, the song which is playing almost complements that big old tree as it moves.
Someone starts to talk and I come out of my thoughts, I now see the small square pains of glass in the window, and all I think about is what shall I cook for dinner.
As I stand and watch the tree through the cottage window I wonder how many times the cottage could tell me how many people have stood in the same spot and done the same thing, I'm lost in my thoughts, only just hearing the radio behind me.
The branches moving in the wind, moves so graceful, the song which is playing almost complements that big old tree as it moves.
Someone starts to talk and I come out of my thoughts, I now see the small square pains of glass in the window, and all I think about is what shall I cook for dinner.
Alone
Alone
Driving back in my car no children in the back, suddenly I pull over and just sit, the radio is on but I don't hear it.
How strange only a few minutes ago there was shouting,laughing,mummy I don't want you to go please stay.
And now nothing,its all gone,what would I have done with my time if I didn't have my darling boys, I ache for moments on my own but all I seem to do is watch the clock yearing to be with them once more.
How will be cope when they have fled.
Driving back in my car no children in the back, suddenly I pull over and just sit, the radio is on but I don't hear it.
How strange only a few minutes ago there was shouting,laughing,mummy I don't want you to go please stay.
And now nothing,its all gone,what would I have done with my time if I didn't have my darling boys, I ache for moments on my own but all I seem to do is watch the clock yearing to be with them once more.
How will be cope when they have fled.
The Rain
The Rain
I always feel cozy when it rain's.
Watching the rain fall outside is still,
No cars moving a faint sound of a bird, the sound of rain falling harder just to remind us I'm in charge.
It hits the window with its long thin fingers saying you can stay in there but I can still see you, and I'm in control not you and I can stop and start when ever I want to total control.
But look how beautiful I can make things look, statues glassine, puddles different shapes and sizes, cob webs always look so inviting with my diamond rain drops.
So next time it rains, don't think oh no what a miserable day look at the day in a different way,my way.
I always feel cozy when it rain's.
Watching the rain fall outside is still,
No cars moving a faint sound of a bird, the sound of rain falling harder just to remind us I'm in charge.
It hits the window with its long thin fingers saying you can stay in there but I can still see you, and I'm in control not you and I can stop and start when ever I want to total control.
But look how beautiful I can make things look, statues glassine, puddles different shapes and sizes, cob webs always look so inviting with my diamond rain drops.
So next time it rains, don't think oh no what a miserable day look at the day in a different way,my way.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
The Man
He went like he came, didn't see him come and didn't see him leave.
He was alone, one man tent, a table, a stool, and a wind brake.
One morning I watched him, wondering who you were, if you were lonely did you have a family, were you an ex.con!!.
Thick black rimmed glasses, you surfed and you drew, I walked by and you smiled so I stopped, you had drawn by pencil baggy point croyde and it was brilliant, and you told me I way kind to say so.
Never will I no your name, were you were from, were you went, so your just the man with no name./
He was alone, one man tent, a table, a stool, and a wind brake.
One morning I watched him, wondering who you were, if you were lonely did you have a family, were you an ex.con!!.
Thick black rimmed glasses, you surfed and you drew, I walked by and you smiled so I stopped, you had drawn by pencil baggy point croyde and it was brilliant, and you told me I way kind to say so.
Never will I no your name, were you were from, were you went, so your just the man with no name./
The Beach
The soft breeze plays with my hair feeling its finger tips over my face, looking across the sea I wonder what secrets lie beneath.
Closing my eye's, smelling the air and listening to what's going on around me, people still chattering,laughing and the faint sounds of music, and how could I forget of course the roaring of the waves.
And also that alone sound in my head, what utter peace that is to me, sitting at the very top of the beach just me and the kindness of the tranquil peace.
Its getting dark but the whiteness of my page is still very clear, across the ocean the pink sky yearns another day, four street lights that's all I can see and five house's on the hill in front of me, someone's got a fire in the sand dunes, the faint sounds of volley ball can still be heard.
Blocking all those sounds out and watching the whiteness of the waves I feel at home here always have and always will.
The real scary part of it all, is that I don't want to go back ,I really don't and when I'm totally on my own I always feel the same. How total selfish and mean I'm, I choose my life no-one told me what to do, it was me.
I can now see the lighthouse light across the sea, warning people not to go near shouting out so loudly across the noise of the sea,STAY AWAY,BEWARE.
Its now ten still warm the laughter, Seals coming in with their surf boards wanting light to come so they can play with the waves once more.
Closing my eye's, smelling the air and listening to what's going on around me, people still chattering,laughing and the faint sounds of music, and how could I forget of course the roaring of the waves.
And also that alone sound in my head, what utter peace that is to me, sitting at the very top of the beach just me and the kindness of the tranquil peace.
Its getting dark but the whiteness of my page is still very clear, across the ocean the pink sky yearns another day, four street lights that's all I can see and five house's on the hill in front of me, someone's got a fire in the sand dunes, the faint sounds of volley ball can still be heard.
Blocking all those sounds out and watching the whiteness of the waves I feel at home here always have and always will.
The real scary part of it all, is that I don't want to go back ,I really don't and when I'm totally on my own I always feel the same. How total selfish and mean I'm, I choose my life no-one told me what to do, it was me.
I can now see the lighthouse light across the sea, warning people not to go near shouting out so loudly across the noise of the sea,STAY AWAY,BEWARE.
Its now ten still warm the laughter, Seals coming in with their surf boards wanting light to come so they can play with the waves once more.
My life
My life: "<< Home "
Well hear goes, i thought this would be a good place to start to write down the things that i think about, then maybe people would understand me a little better, i dont seem to let many people into my world, so iam going to let you read some of my work.
AS HE SLEEPS.
His hair so soft, and skin like slik, his body moves up and down with every breath he makes,oxygen being carried around his tiny body like a steam train, his innocence of being a child, the not knowing, but growing every day , getting stronger and stronger.
Snuggled up on his tummy, bottom in the air, dreaming of happy times that only us as parents can give him.My baby boy Alexander.
Well hear goes, i thought this would be a good place to start to write down the things that i think about, then maybe people would understand me a little better, i dont seem to let many people into my world, so iam going to let you read some of my work.
AS HE SLEEPS.
His hair so soft, and skin like slik, his body moves up and down with every breath he makes,oxygen being carried around his tiny body like a steam train, his innocence of being a child, the not knowing, but growing every day , getting stronger and stronger.
Snuggled up on his tummy, bottom in the air, dreaming of happy times that only us as parents can give him.My baby boy Alexander.
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